She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
