Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just high enough for therapy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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