You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dick very happy bro
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
