He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
