I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
