Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
