didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
