She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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