we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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