so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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