i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
