It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
