I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
