yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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