honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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