Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
