why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
