Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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