Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
