This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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