so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
