So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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