What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
