The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
