and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we're making bets on your personal life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
