So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
