I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
