I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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