So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
