i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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