i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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