The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
