Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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