he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
