He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
