can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
