Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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