Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
