and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
