I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
