I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Cold hands, warm shart.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
