I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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