I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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