goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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