Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
