With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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