I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
