If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
nutella sex= disaster
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
