I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I would ride that face into the sunset
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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