were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
