I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
