i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
