maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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