to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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