Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
